I've Got My Eye On You!
by TheCalligrapher1
Summary: .ONE SHOT. A little humor fic about how Gippal can no longer put up with Rikku and his antics on how to get out of a relationship with her. Rated K for language.


Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm back with a new one-shot which could be a potential new fic. I'm not really sure. Anyways, I just wanted to give some background on this story. Anrixan and I were talking about our dear friend James and what would happen if a certain scenario were to happen (seeing that he looks like Gippal, eye and all). So with our twisted story we came up with this idea and now I wrote it to share it with all of you. So this is dedicated to James and Deanna and everyone else who likes my twisted sense of humor.

**I've Got My Eye On You!**

He wasn't sure how he was going to get rid of her. He couldn't take her incessant nagging, the fits of laughter, and the childish behavior anymore. He had tired everything he could to get rid of her; from playing heartless tricks to sleeping around. But she was always forgiving. And now he was sitting in Chateau Leblanc, the most expensive restaurant in Spira. Rikku thought that he was here to propose, but little did she know Gippal was actually going to break up with her. Well attempt to. The last few times he tried she down right refused to let him end the relationship.

So there he sat looking stunningly handsome in his black tuxedo, hands shoved in his hair with his head down. He was thankful that she was meeting him at the restaurant because he wasn't sure if he could take a car ride with her constant chatting. It baffled him how much one person could talk without even taking a single breath. She didn't even turn blue in the face or anything. She was like the Energizer Chocobo. She just kept going and going and going. Lifting his head from its resting place he looked up to see Rikku walking toward him. She had a huge smile on her face and her swirling green eyes were shining bright. She wore a simple yet elegantly cut emerald green dress that flattered her lean figure. _Sweet Machina, _he thought, _she's so beautiful. Why does she have to be so annoying?_ His mind began to race as she drew closer. How would he ever manage to dump her and be with the one he truly loved?

"Hello, Gippal. Thanks for meeting me here."

"No problem."

There was an awkward silence that passed between them. They looked at each other both unsure of what to say to the other.

"So..." Gippal said drumming his fingers against the table. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Why don't we just order and talk walk we eat, k?" Rikku said pulling out her chair and sitting down.

"Whatever."

Picking up his menu Gippal scanned its contents. Nothing really appealed to him, besides he wasn't really that hungry. All he wanted to do was get this dinner over with. He knew that his previous attempts to end his relationship with Rikku were frugal. How was it that you could break up with someone and they tell you no and act like nothing had happened? It just didn't make any sense to him at all. In fact, it irritated him beyond belief. Everything Rikku said or did made Gippal want to strangle her. The only reason he had put up with her for so long is because they had been childhood friends and he didn't want to hurt her.

"Eww, Gippal!" Rikku squealed. "Can you believe that they serve goat eyes here? Isn't that the sickest thing you've ever heard of? I'd be totally disgusted if there were eyes on my plate next to food that was gonna go in my mouth."

"Hmp." The wheels of Gippal's imagination began to turn and slowly the formulated a plot on how to get rid of Rikku once and for all.

The waitress came and they ordered their food. Everything just seemed to be a bit of a blur to Gippal. He could see Rikku's lips moving yet he couldn't hear a word she was saying. He had gone to some other place deep inside his thoughts. His only mission was to detach Rikku from his love life. He was so deep in thought that he was clearly unaware when their waitress eventually brought their dinner.

"So, Gippal, I've been thinking."

"What about?"

"I think we should take our relationship to the next level. I think that its time that we got engaged."

"Vun vilgc cyga, you've got to be shitting me, Rikku."

"No darling, I'm not. I really think its time that we settled down."

"Settled down? Telling me you're fucking joking," he said with anger rising in his voice.

"No, nope. I'm not. I think it would be cool."

"Cool? Rikku, I have been trying to leave you for months now and you won't let me. And now you want to get engaged? Why in Spira would you want to marry someone who doesn't fucking want to be with you?"

'You don't need to speak to me that way Gippal. And I know that you love me."

"Oh Fuck. I don't fucking love you. Never did. Never will."

"Oh Gippal, shush and eat you vegetables. You'll be less irritable."

"You are not my mother. Do not tell me what to do. I have had enough with you forcing me into doing shit I don't want to do."

"Will you keep your voice down? Baby, people are starting to stare."

"I don't give a shit. I just want out of this relationship," he said slamming his fists down onto the table causing his soup to fly up into his face. Gippal began to rub furiously at his eyes try to get the hot liquid out.

"Here let me help you," Rikku said starting to get up from her chair.

"No, no. I'm fine. Stay where you are," he said not wanting her to see what he was doing. Slowly he worked his glass eye out of its socket and into his hand. "I'm just going to run to the restroom and flush my eye."

Inside the bathroom Gippal washed his face and wiped down his shirt until the remaining bits of soup were gone. He then pulled out his eye patch and put it on. He now had an idea on how to get rid of Rikku. Smiling he left the bathroom feeling like a load was about to be lifted off of his shoulder.

"You put your patch on," she said sounding slightly aggravated.

"My socket way burning so I rinsed it out. I must have lost my glass eye when I was rubbing it so I put the patch on. Would you rather me just leave the patch off and let everyone see my empty socket? Because I can do that if you like."

"No, no. So about my proposal. When do you want to announce it?"

"Are you kidding me? Rikku, look at me and read my lips. I-do-not-want-to-marry-you," he said slow and deliberately. All the while she was staring at his lips he was slowly easing his eye into her soup bowl.

"Well I think you're just in shock," she said turning back to her food.

"I am not in shock. I am just not interested in marrying you. Look. You're my best friend and I value you're friendship. That, however, does not mean I want to marry you."

Rikku pretended that she wasn't listening to Gippal. She focused on her food and thought that she could just make Gippal eventually agree to what ever she wanted. And then she began to choke on something.

"H…e...lp…."

"Rikku? Oh my….I think you're choking!" Jumping up from his chair Gippal ran over to Rikku and began to perform the heimlich maneuver on Rikku until up came his glass eye ball. It went spewing out onto her plate. Rikku peered down at it and when she realized what it was she let out an ear piercing scream.

"GIPPAL! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU ARE SO DIRGUSTING! I KNOW YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! I KNOW IT!"

"Rikku…I…"

"I don't want to hear it. How could you do something like that? You're supposed to love me."

"Rikku…"

"SHUT UP!"

"But I…"

"IT"S OVER! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! HOW COULD YOU HUMILIATE ME LIKE THIS?" And with that she stormed out of the restaurant.

Gippal sat back and began to laugh as he watched her run from the restaurant. He shook his head and waved for the waiter to bring the check. He wished he had figured out that if he grossed her out and humiliated her in public then she'd bolt.

Throwing some gil on the table Gippal got up and walked outside. There stood Rikku waiting angrily for a cab.

"Hey! Rikku," he called over to her.

"What the hell do you want?" she snapped.

"I've got my eye on you!"


End file.
